Sunday, December 10, 2006

I Missed Tori's Yard Sale

Why didn't anyone tell me? Tori Spelling and Dean McDermott decided to "make a fresh start" by opening "their house to all comers and offered their possessions for sale Friday and Saturday." I love garage sales! I love fresh starts! I love people who get fresh starts by having a garage sale! Especially when they call the media, hire bouncers, and print shopping bags that say "Tori Spelling Estate Sale" on the side. Speaking no doubt for the feelings of everyone there, Dean said, "We were the top news story all day in the entertainment capital of the world." And he was right - ten "news" helicopters hovered overhead while camera crews clogged the streets and angry neighbors called the police (thankfully reported in detail by L.A. Times writer Gary Polakovic). I'm sure Dean and Tori's rejected stuff was really good, as, for instance, those shoes above. One shopper said, "She's a celebrity, so you expect to find good brands" of merchandise. My thoughts exactly! No wonder "As many as 300 buyers stood in line for up to three hours as security personnel allowed only 20 shoppers in the house at a time." Luckily, "film crew guy Patrick 'Trainwreck' Gilman managed the queue, collected phone numbers of females and had people making coffee runs for him." You would want a guy called Trainwreck managing an event this important. You would also want one of the TV crews to be from your own "reality show" (Tori's is "So NoTORIous") so you could get live footage of real people into your scripted reality show featuring actors and actresses. That is what I call "news"! I was impressed that Kim - Kim Pappas - would spend her 27th birthday waiting in line for hours for a crack at paying ten dollars for items like "colorful bottles" from Tori's household - her used and hopefully rinsed-out wine bottles, I guess, which come in dark green, lighter green, and sometimes a yellowish green. I was only surprised that no one mentioned they were there to support Tori because after her father, Aaron Spelling, died, she found out that he left her mom $300 million and stuck her with only one million dollars! Ouch! Tori may only get as much as one of the people in line would earn by working for 20 years (before taxes). So sell the shoes and hire the lawyers! Heather (Heather Fill of Marina Del Rey) put it all in perspective for me when she said, as she waited in line with the 300 others, "I'm just intrigued. . . My yard sale never got picked up on 'Access Hollywood.' Only in L.A.!" That's right, Heather. There are NO OTHER DIFFERENCES between you and Tori, so if you see how she does it, 10 "news" helicopters will come to your next yard sale too. And so will I - call me ahead of time!

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